RandomNPC – Video Game RPG Reviews, Editorials, and Features

In a world where the world’s military has come under the control of a madman… One man. Will make a difference. This week. In Current Quests.

As you may have guessed from the intro, there’s a lot of Metal Gear Solid 4 floating around this week. Amongst those who’ve donned the moustache and eyepatch, Michael “Slayer of God” Kozinko has also been killing time (and occasionally Mustadio) with Final Fantasy Tactics: the War of the Lions.

Meanwhile, T.J. “Nerdboy Himself” Condon has been pinned down by work, which would only be fun if he were a referee at a mudwrestling competition. He’s been prodding liberally at Chaos Wars, attempting to play just enough to make progress without damaging his psyche. Not an easy task.

Derek “Roku” Cavin has been playing along similar lines, plodding along in Chaos Wars while dragging himself out from underneath the pile of schoolwork. He’s also been seen punching various reviews in the face, which means he’s either getting ready to publish, or the Hulk within has finally been revealed.

Back at the Metal Gear ranch, Jerry “XeroZohar” Swain has been wrestling with his tranq gun, and may have accidentally shot the President. Last seen fleeing the tactical espionage battlefield for a brief fling with Rock Band, Xero left his moustache and eyepatch behind; a moving, yet creepy, memento.

John “Karlinn” Boske, on the other hand, has just finished playing through Deus Ex, meaning that he can uninstall it until the next time someone mentions the game. Er, wait, that doesn’t count, does it? Well, at any rate, he’s also been romancing Tali in Mass Effect for PC and knocking heads in Grand Theft Auto 4, which he describes as “initially awkward but otherwise chock full of face-rocking potential.”

Jordan “J_Sensei” Jackson, on the other hand, has been immersing himself in tactical games left and right, playing Fire Emblem: the Sacred Stones alongside Metal Gear Solid 4. No word on whether or not the moustache and eyepatch help him out in a medieval setting, but it’s hard to imagine where a moustache that fine would be out of place. In between tactics, he’s been whip-slinging in Lego Indiana Jones, stealin’ idols and hatin’ on Nazis.

Perhaps because of her lack of a moustache, Courtney “Alethea” Stone has been playing Final Fantasy VII and XI instead of MGS4. We distributed eyepatches, but a moustache just isn’t the kind of thing you can be given. You have to earn it.

Of course, having no moustache myself, I have consoled myself with a speed run through Pokemon Emerald. I finished up the game night before last, and it always strikes me how much quicker the game moves than Diamond or Pearl. But anyway, next up, I’ve been thinking about trying out Rondo of Swords. The combat system looks very interesting, and I feel the need for a TRPG. Anybody in the peanut gallery had a chance to try it out yet?

At any rate, that’s it for this week’s Quests. We now return you to your regularly scheduled moustaches. I mean programming!